Log in

My Life, such as it is [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ archive | journal archive ]

Elipses 'R' Us... [Nov. 29th, 2005|12:22 am]
[mood |ecstaticecstatic]
[music |Ring of Fire - Johnny and June Cash]

I think the date went pretty well. I mean, it was only FUCKING AWESOME. First of all the indian food was pretty good. They had some good chicken curry. Rice was a little underdone. Good conversation about games. She's not a gamer, but I really liked how instead of just change the subject, she just related it to positive experiences she'd had with them. I was impressed. She didn't mind talking about things that weren't in her immediate sphere of influence. Spoke volumes, to me.

We then left to get cigarettes for Kirsten, which I forgot to stop for, so we went straight to the movie. I felt like an ass, but offered one of mine to ease the pain. Sort of offered, anyway.... Went and sat down in our seats. The conversation was various, but pleasant. I commented a few times on the previews, she mentioned she read the book Life as a Geisha and she wanted to see it. Looks kind of interesting, saw a brief glimpse of what seemed to be a actual depiction of Japanese Foot Binding... ouch. THAT'S creepy. Anyway, during the movie, very little speech, but there was something there. For sure.

We decided after the movie to go to her house and watch a movie. She doesn't own any... well, 3 she said. I have quite a few. Since we're so close to my house, why don't I grab one? We decided on Drop Dead Gorgeous. We'd both seen it before, but neither in a while. So then I had to explain how crappy the house was, and I didn't want her to see it. (My room is also a sty, and don't think my floor of laundry will impress someone usually...). So I run in a grab it, and we head back to her place. All I can say is that her cats... they love me. One of them actually reminds me of Luthien, quite a bit.

Anyway, going out again wed. Not sure what we're doing yet, but not that worried about it. We'll figure it out tomorrow.

Oh, and Walk the Line is pretty good, too....

Until Then...
link2 comments|post comment

On Life, Love, and Oncoming Traffic [Nov. 28th, 2005|01:38 am]
[mood |anxiousanxious]
[music |Billy Idol - Rebel Yell]

We'll start at the end. This was fucking scary shit dude. I came within, like, 1/2 second of being T-boned by a cop on my way home from work tonight. Yeah.


I totally was not in the wrong, but the cop was in a pretty big friggin' hurry. You'd think they had an ammo special down at the gun store or something. The problem was, I was coming off the WB exit for 84 at Meridian ave, easily doing 80 because no one's on the road and I like to speed like an idiot. I spy, with my little eye, a leaf sucker for parking lots in the far left turn lane. I pull into the middle left lane, and slow down. I realize this truck/vaccum/worthless-job thing has been at the light for a while, so it's possible I don't need to stop, as the light just might signal my belovedly anticipated green arrow. The say green's the most optically visible color to the human eye. Because it's right in the middle of the specturm of visable light it's most soothing and attractive (both asthetically and scientifically) of all the colors. I do like green, so maybe they're right....

I signal my blinker. Going about 40, still slowing, I have 75 yards to go, the light goes green. Salvation! I realize that there's still the possibility of ice, and although I DO have FF w/a stick, IT'S STILL A HYUNDAI. So I slow still, to about 20-25 mph, and probably have about 1/2 a second at this speed before the point of no return... then point where I can no longer stop in time. In my little 50lb car, that's pretty close to the stop line...

I didn't see anything. I was clear. Onward. But the leaf/life sucker is still dormant. Why I wonder? Oh, well, better turn the wheel and watch the line so I don't accidentally cut him off or anything. I execute my turn gracefully.... for about 2/3 the way through, as over the hill to my right I saw police lights. Then came the siren over the sonic glare of a Bon Jovi guitar solo. To my right. I glance, and realize those lights are hurtling at my at tremendous speed, cannonballing thier way to Overland rd.


I need to get over, like, yesterday morning. Already I've jerked the wheel out of instinctive jumpiness, and luckily it was to the right. A second later I realize that's the direction I need to be going (at least, unless I want to race them, which I'm not exactly in the mood for at the moment). I'm over so fast that as I turned, I threw my blinker on - Before the current to pass through the car's electrical system to empower the light bulb itself - I was already stopping on the curb. Now, normally, this probably would have ended with me being cited for failure to yeild and sent on my way, if this particular authority figure decided a little abuse was in order. But I had another reason, a hidden reason, to fear the cops. So I REALLY didn't want this guy sniffing around at my car window, like they always seem to do when I get pulled over.... The cop blows by me at a speed of Warner Bros. proportions. I think he gave me a dirty look though. I didn't see anything, but I could sense it. I know these things... he probably thought "dumbass pothead" and kept on going to his sheep auction or whatever.

But then, just as this thought never enters my head, comes up the road a second set of lights. Also at comicly fast speeds, then a third, a fourth, AND a fifth. Wow, and actual CRIME!! Or a really big auction. Either way, that consists of EVERY patrol car the FINE city of Meridian has to offer on night watch, plus the chief, dispatcher, and janitor as well. I have to admit, the adrenaline was pretty cool, after I realized that there are bigger criminals out here than me (I was not conviced of this for a few seconds). Slowely I turn the wheel, signal, and go to pull back into traffic.

I almost merged into some jerk who came barreling through the left hand turn from the off ramp, because he had the light.


Pretty excited for tomorrow. Kirsten and I are going to see Walk the Line, and I hear only good things. Then I think were going to this Indian place she likes. She's pretty vegetarian, and I'm... not. Should be interesting.

Second date. Hooray! I must say, I have not talked on the phone with someone this much since just after high school. This chick is cool. Very.

So anyway, Walk the Line, for those of you just beginning your decimal emergence from crysalis form, is about the life of Johnny Cash. The original man in black. (after the first catholic priest, that is...). Joaquin Phoenix plays Johnny, and I love that guy. He's awesome. So I think I'll like it. I haven't heard anything bad out it yet, actally.

I've noticed my days taking a lot longer recently. In the last 7 days or so, it seems like the clock is against me. I think I know why, but will keep it to myself for the moment. I just seem to be more aware of time lately. That's all. Makes for a looong work day.

Think I'm done for now.

Revenge of the Vogon Poetry!!!

it's best not to think
of things that aren't in traffic
when making a left.
linkpost comment

I don't want to say too much... [Nov. 26th, 2005|02:58 am]
[mood |naughtyHmm...]
[music |Poisen - Nothin' but a Good Time]

Ok. So I always thought that I would NEVER be one of those people online actually actively looking a date. I mean, I'm a pretty big geek (someone said I wasn't today - more on that in a minute), but had always looked down my nose at internet dating sites... until recently anyway. Sure, I was a snob about it. I scoffed at the thought, much in the same way I would if you suggested I would enjoy living the rest of my life in a gold sequined jumpsuit embroidered in dyed Argentinean goat hair.

Now, due to circumstances of my recent life, my opinions have changed a bit on this. I decided to give it a shot.

Within hours had found someone very interesting. Lets call her Kirsten. She won't mind.

Within a week, Kirsten and I decided to meet.

That was last night. Now, I've decided to keep my thoughts to myself for the most part, since I haven't really fully processed the experience yet, but let's just say I'm DEFINATELY willing to meet again. I haven't met someone this interesting in a really long time.

Major selling point - She loves Douglas Adams. I mean, she MUST be cool!

One more thing... and I know this makes me sound like a creepy McCreeperson, but I promise it's not supposed to be. She smelled really good. Not like perfumy, not like she was trying to (at least I don't think so, anyway), I can't really describe it. It's not like I was sniffing her sleeve on the sly or anything, but every so often during our conversation I would just get a gentle breeze blowing by due to the door being opened, and this smell came wafting over with it.

Okay, that does sound a little creepy. I promise, it was innocent. PROMISE!

So, yeah, about the non-geeky thing... I was talking to my boss today, and in the conversation I mentioned I'm a big geek. Geekiness is a large part of my self image, and I'm proud of that fact. Boss man (who is very cool, BTW) said, and I quote "Well, I would exactly describe you as a geek....". Now, I actually took a little offense to this. I mean, how dare he?? I'm a HUGE geek! I mean, I know every episode of Star Trek TNG by heart almost! I listen to butt rock! I PLAY DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS!!!! If that's not geeky, then I don't know WHAT is! So, in response to this obvious challenge to my manhood, I challenge back with "Ok then, what WOULD you classify me as?". He sat there for a few minutes, mulling it over, then simply stated "I'm not sure exactly", which was a cop-out. But you know, I took it as a compliment. In today's society of passive-aggressive conformity, to defy classification means I must have done something right. I'll take it.

And to top off this wholly strangely good day, it snowed! YAY!
linkpost comment

Well fuck... [Nov. 23rd, 2005|06:40 am]
In trying to get back into the swing of things here on LJ, I decided to catch up to what was going on in some contact's lives. Found out that one of my good friends, I thought, got married!!

Good for him. Congrats dude. The only problem is... no one even bothered to tell me. There's like literally 20 different people who could have at least sent a text message to me to let me know. I would like to have gone, but I can understand not being invited. BUT FUCKING TELL ME!!

I'm just hurt. I know I haven't been the best at keeping in contact. So it's partly my fault. But damn... it actually really hurt to read that. Maybe it's just a reminder of the life I lost when I made my choice. Well, no maybe about it. I had to leave, that was not in question. I guess I just want my friends back.

I should have known better than to click that button....
linkpost comment

Back by no demand... [Nov. 21st, 2005|04:32 am]
[mood |complacentcomplacent]

So it seems I've decided to start using my journal again. Publicly, even. Not sure why. I know why I stopped. I needed to get my mind out of all the crap I put myself through at the time I was writing last. It was a very... shall we say turbulent time in my life, and I needed to get my mind off it. I was driving myself nuts. But recently I've been taken with the idea of re-reading my posts from back then, and it's shown me a few things. Some good, some bad, some just stupid.

The one thing I am reminded of the most, however, is that it seemed somewhat therapeutic. It helped me hash out some things. So we'll try again and see how it works.

So... it's been the better part of a year since I've posted... what's happened?

I'm on my way to the career of my dreams... designing video games! That may not impress most people, but I find them more entertaining than movies, WAY better than TV, and dammit! They're fun! So there.

My car died a long time ago, and has been replaced with a way better car.

I've dated a few times, and let me tell you, Mormons make bad girlfriends.

Still looking for Ms. Right, or at least Ms. Right For Now if nothing else.

Episode 3 is quite possibly the largest pile of shit to become a blockbuster in a very long time.

Idaho is NOT a fun place to live if you like anything that isn't related to country music or drinking.

I have seen every episode of CSI made, and avidly await the new ones Thursday nights (I know I said that thing about TV, but this is my one exception to the rule)

I have met the real-life incarnation of Chris from The Family Guy, and he's just as big an idiot in real life, but no where near as funny.

I think I may be the only true geek in Idaho. I know that's a bold statement, but I still think it's true.

I now know the process to bail someone out of jail. I won't say who, but they gave me a very sleepless night. Good thing bail bondsman are open 24 hours.

I don't suck at pool nearly as much as I used to.

A major person in my previous life turned out to be a HUGE liar.

Well, that's more a list of... whatever... which means not a lot is going on. The school thing is really cool, and once I'm done with it I plan on moving back to the Seattle area, since there aren't too many game design firms in Boise. I guess we'll have to see what happens.

Anyway, I guess I'll try this again, and hopefully I'll have a better time this go-around.
linkpost comment

Privacy is golden [Feb. 2nd, 2005|11:08 pm]
[mood |blankblank]

It is with this and many other thoughts in mind that most of my journal has been made private. It seems that no one really cares to read it anyway, not even me. I find writing it theraputic, but sometimes I just can't read it later. So, with some resentment, I have removed most of my thoughts from the public forum. I hope this doesn't hurt anyone's feelings.
linkpost comment

Looking a little deeper [Jan. 18th, 2005|10:59 am]
[mood |thoughtfulPhilisophical]

Last week I mentioned a small realization I had. I lost 10 minutes of valuable sleep to write this down as I figured it was... something... enough to warrant attention anyway.

This is not meant to be self deprecating, please don't take it as such. I was thinking about why I do some of the things I do, and could find no explanation. This thought occurred however, and while I don't think it answered the questions I was asking, it did provide something to think about.

The universe, by it's very nature is self destructive.
The point of it's creation also created it's demise.
Defined it's finite nature, foretold it's inevitable doom,
either through unending expansion or total inward collapse.
I am a natural part of the universe.
My make up is entirely of materials and energies
that have existed since the very instant this cataclysm occurred.
My nature is the same as the rest of the universe.
I am self destructive. It is in my nature to be so.
It is in all of our natures.

This tendency is not always apparent.

The duration of the universe is a long one.
The trends that show this tendency are very slow in revealing themselves.
My duration is much shorter.
The behaviors that display this tendency in me are much quicker to be revealed.
It's akin to sunlight through a magnifying glass,
a pinpoint on the ground, magnified many times in intensity,
diminished many times in area of effect.

Taking the metaphor one step further,
this focus of light is harmful to
the environment that it's unfocused counterpart is not.
Things that relish sunlight burn under this harsher version.
I must be careful of this effect.
It's entirely possible, since I am this focus,
that I am burning away that which relishes me.
We all could be.

Let me know what you think.
linkpost comment

I told you I loved her, all you haters! [Jan. 13th, 2005|02:39 pm]
[mood |hornyAngelina..... Rrrrrrrow!]

How obsessed with Angelina Jolie am I?

You are just as much as a fan as me its become
obssesion with her and you must also agree that
shes the most beautiful women in the world and
no one can disagree or you'll be
offended.DEFINATLEY OBSSESED....one day you'll
get to meet her...until then keep dreamin'

brought to you by Quizilla

PS. BTW, I posted last month that I was getting a professors cube, and thought I might be insane for trying. I'm either not insane, or bordering on the insane/genious side, because last night I solved it.

linkpost comment

Long time, no read! [Jan. 11th, 2005|08:29 am]
[mood |awakeawake, and a bit foolish]

So, I find myself at my place of work at 8 in the morning, due to a misreading of my alarm clock. I thought I was going to be late, but find myself an hour early instead. I thought it was pretty funny. It's been a while since I've contributed here. No reasons I haven't posted in nearly a month. I have had a lot of time to think on things. I haven't realized anything much I didn't already know, epiphany is hard to come by. I did get to see quite a bit of snow, even though my area didn't get much at all (glad I went to Bellingham), and was reminded why accumulation is bad for the paycheck. I was gifted a DVD burner, and boy am I glad. And so is my HDD. I did have a small revelation about myself, but that will wait for another entry. Had some drama around the beginning of the year, but that, it seems, has worked itself out, albeit not the way I would have liked. I did satisfy one life goal however - I have now seen every single episode of OZ, all 52 hours worth. If you have not seen that show, correct that now.

As you can see, I was mostly just wasting time, feeling sorry for myself, and generally doing nothing worth doing. I've mentioned it before, but I have this tendancy to shut down and just wallow in self pity every few months. Sometimes it's just for a day, sometimes longer. It's caused me to lose jobs or come very close. One of my many demons I guess.

Anyway, this is not trying to create and excuse or justify my behavior lately. Just explaining my absence I guess. I have been keeping up with other's journals, and just kind of ignoring my own. Actually, a good reflection of my attitude lately, looking everywhere but at myself. Anyway, I'll be posting again soon, I did have one thought I found interesting enough to write down (one of those moments at 3.30 in the morning where you just HAVE to get down whatever half coherent thought just crossed your mind), and I want to share it, as it's kind of interesting. But for now I'm at work, and need to get back to it. Until then.
linkpost comment

Untitled [Dec. 16th, 2004|09:23 am]
[mood |recumbentrecumbent]

I think I may overestimate my cognitive capabilities. While I am not dumb by any stretch of the word, what in all my arrogence makes me think that I, and I alone (without "cheating" by looking at solutions), will be able to solve a 5x5x5 rubik's cube? If you've never seen one before, you can see one HERE. Am I really so smart as to be able to solve this mostrosity? Am I deluding myself in a fit of overt egotism? Time shall tell, as I ordered one yesterday and should have it shortly. I had to order it from Australia, but I found one dammit!

Anyway, enough of that stupidity. I am looking forward to a busy weekend. Today I start moving my stuff. Tomorrow I work, then drive for 2 hours for another Halo party saturday. sunday I drive back again and try to move more. The responsibilities of leisure. (sigh)

Anyway, at work now, so I should cut this short, but to be revisited soon.
linkpost comment

[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]